Preparing for a first-time birth is a bit like training months and months for the most intense obstacle course race of your life… in which you have no idea what the obstacles are going to be. You have somewhat of an idea, you’ve heard how hard it will be, and how other people have been able to push through. You know that it’s going to take a ton of mental and physical preparation. But you don’t actually know how it’s going to feel when you’re going through it because well, you’ve never done it before. 

In this post I am going to share what I’ve been doing the last 9 months to prepare for birth, as well as what my personal birth plan and preferences are. Head’s up—I haven’t given birth yet! I’m 39 weeks pregnant, so it could happen any day now… Maybe I’ll need to update parts of this afterwards, but for now, here we go.

My husband and I have known we wanted to have a child since the beginning of our relationship, years ago. We also knew it would be a little while, that we wanted to wait until after we got married. In anticipation of this, I got my IUD removed a few weeks before our wedding knowing that it could take months, up to a year or even longer to conceive (I had the Paragard/copper IUD, which is nonhormonal, for about two years before this). To our surprise, we found out I was pregnant three days after our wedding. I want to take a moment here to acknowledge that there are so many couples who have a difficult time getting pregnant and my deepest empathy and compassion goes out to them. At the same time there are many others who get pregnant without even trying, who are not eager to become parents… there’s only so much in our control and that we can plan.

My Birth Plan

My mother in law has been a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) for about 20 years and was a Labor & Delivery nurse for 20 years before that. I’m not sure if it was my experience of knowing her and being fascinated with birth and midwifery for years prior to getting pregnant that influenced my decisions—who knows. But when I did become pregnant I knew immediately that I wanted to go the route of midwifery. I began looking at the options in our area and found Community Roots Midwife Collective in Longmont, CO, a nonprofit and team of midwives providing home birth options and reproductive care. After meeting them, I felt a really strong pull towards having a home birth, and that has been my plan ever since!

[I know there are many conflicting and controversial ideas and beliefs around home birth, so maybe that will have to be a post of it’s own… I’m very open to discussion so feel free to reach out if you have questions or want to talk about how I made my decision.]

Full disclosure that I have read up on cesarean births, we have a hospital bag packed and ready to go, the car seat is installed, our hospital birth plan is printed out… we’ve done all the things in preparation of the possibility of transferring to a hospital at any point. Hopefully, all of this is unnecessary!

Pregnancy Wellness

Prior to pregnancy I had long been a very healthy, active person, and I intended to continue my healthy habits as the weeks went on and our baby girl began to grow. I bring this up in the context of “preparing for birth” because how we care for ourselves physically, nutritionally, and emotionally for months prior to the actual event of birth truly makes an impact. That being said, I’ve never been someone who exercises rigorously or doesn’t leave room for balance in my diet. And I mean, I’ve tried to be that rigid. Over the years I’ve worked with a fitness coach, holistic nutritionist, Ayurvedic specialist, and more—and they have all been incredibly insightful and helpful in my journey to find the best routines and habits for me as an individual. What I’ve found works best for me is to take it easy. Any time I’ve tried to get too detailed or strict with my diet or exercise routine, I end up “failing,” which just feels discouraging. Instead of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, so to speak, I’ve let myself adopt regular movement and a way of eating that fits into my life as an individual and as a mother and partner, doesn’t require me to get up earlier than my body wants me to, or leave out foods that I love. And it’s been sustainable throughout pregnancy.

“How we care for ourselves physically, nutritionally, and emotionally for months prior to the actual event of birth truly makes an impact.”

What that looks like is walking almost every day for about 30 minutes (during the second trimester this increased to an hour—love that pregnancy golden hour and increased energy!), being generally “active” (opting to take stairs when I’m out and about, readily taking the stairs in my own house, parking far away from a store entrance to get some extra steps in, etc), doing some stretches every morning and night, eating a balance of macronutrients (protein, carbs, and fat) throughout the day, and also indulging in a treat most times I feel like it. I never used to have a sweet tooth until pregnancy, and anyone who’s been pregnant knows that cravings don’t just stop themselves!! I balance having some sugar every day with eating my greens and a wide variety of vegetables. Sugar is not the devil, unless you are eating cinnamon rolls for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. Then you are asking for gestational diabetes. 😅 

All of that to say, eating healthy and being active in pregnancy are important factors in preparing for birth. Healthy habits keep your mind and body strong and resilient for the ultimate marathon. There are also a variety of hereditary factors that are out of our control and some that are within our control (for example, I have a strong family history of diabetes both paternally and maternally, so eating healthy and exercising are extra important to me). Doing what we can to ensure the greatest outcome for ourselves and our growing babies can only contribute to a positive birth experience, in my non-medical opinion. At the same time, I’ve found that it’s so important for us pregnant women to give ourselves grace—pregnancy is not an easy journey, though some seem to have it “easier” than others. Balance entails not getting it perfect and right all day, every single day.

Professional Care

I’ve had the privilege of getting regular chiropractic care and prenatal massages throughout my pregnancy, starting in the second trimester. I was having intense mid-back pain after attempting to start sleeping on my side (this is recommended after a certain point in pregnancy, but I’m a staunch back sleeper) and found a chiropractor in my area who specializes in pregnancy, postpartum, babies, and children. She has been amazing and I’ve seen her every other week. She also encouraged me to sleep on my back if that was more comfortable, just to make sure that I was sleeping at least at a 45 degree angle so I wouldn’t get lightheaded or risk compression of the vena cava, a major vein that returns blood from the lower body to the heart. I also have been getting a monthly prenatal massage, which has just been divine. I highly regard pregnancy as the perfect time to prioritize your self care, if you aren’t already! Caring for yourself while growing a human being is so, so important. 

Another type of massage that has really helped during this last month of pregnancy (and that I wish I had discovered earlier!) is maya abdominal massage. This is great for overstretched muscles and ligaments and for relieving muscle tension. There are practitioners you can find (though depending on your area, they might be few and far between) or you can actually practice on yourself with this guide.

This isn’t considered “professional care” but, on the note of self care, I’ve been regularly anointing myself with creams and oils after every shower as a time to connect with my baby and my sensuality as a pregnant goddess mama. I’ve really enjoyed getting out of a nice, hot shower and lathering myself everywhere, taking it slow, and just breathing deep. It’s been good practice for me to slow down since my tendency has always been to grind grind grind. 

Affirmations and Visualizations

Okay, so it’s definitely not my place to educate you on the birth process as I’ve just been learning about all of it myself during these last nine months. Also, it hasn’t happened yet for me! Though it will soon. I’ve included some books and resources below, which have given me a strong idea of what to expect during labor, the different possibilities and outcomes, what pain management strategies and positions could work for me, and so much more. As someone who’s planning a natural vaginal home birth, I have been doing everything I can to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the intense journey that birth is going to be. That being said… as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I have no real idea of what the experience will be like until I’m going through it. My midwives have encouraged me to journal about the birth I want and write down how I envision every part of birth going if it went according to my ideal plan. That’s been powerful! And at the same time it’s important to understand that likely it won’t happen exactly as I want it to. 🙂

I strongly believe in the power of affirmations and visualizations, so I’ll share with you some of what my midwives have passed on to me and that I’ve been working with as I head into Laborland (a term from Ancient Map for Modern Birth, referenced below)…

Visioning Your Labor and Birth

Choose the day, the date, the time, the weather. Choose the location, the surroundings, the music. Choose the people and their roles. Imagine the days before labor, the pre-labor. Imagine early labor. Imagine active labor when things are more intense. Imagine your baby emerging from your body. Imagine your baby lifted onto your chest, the smell, the sounds, the sensations. Imagine your baby latching onto your breast. Imagine birthing your placenta and your uterus contracting down.

Labor Mantras

• • My body is strong. My baby is strong. We are capable.
  • My body knows how to give birth.
  • Each wave helps my baby be born.
  • Strong contractions are good ones.
  • I am calm; my baby feels my calmness and shares it.
  • With each contraction, my cervix is dilating a little more.
  • The baby travels through my body perfectly.
  • I feel the love of those helping me. I feel their belief in me.
  • I am strong; I can do this.
  • I am fierce, but flexible.
  • I trust my instincts. I am present. I am doing this.
  • One breath at a time.
  • I am confident, I am safe, I am secure.
  • My body was built to do this.
  • The only way OUT is THROUGH.
  • My body is wise, soft, and open.

Helpful Books and Resources

The following are some books and resources that I’ve used throughout my pregnancy to prepare for birth and new motherhood. These are also included on the Resources page of this blog with links and short descriptions so you know what you’re getting into.

Books

• Ancient Map for Modern Birth by Pam England
• The Natural Pregnancy Book by Aviva Jill Romm
• Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
• Baby 411 by Dr. Ari Brown and Denise Fields
• Expecting Better by Emily Oster

Podcasts

• • The Birth Hour
  • Juna Women Podcast
  • Doing It At Home
  • Mommy Labor Nurse
  • “HypnoBirthing Affirmations by Marie Mongan” on the Birth People Podcast

Miscellaneous Resources

• • Spinning Babies – My little one was doing all kinds of flips during the second trimester and I would get worried that she’d end up breech. I used a lot of the techniques and information on this website to encourage her to move head down and it seems to have worked!

I hope some or all of this is helpful to you if you are going through the pregnancy journey and preparing for a sacred birth! As always, reach out if you feel called.

Love & sisterhood,

Allie